Beauty and the Beast - A tale of loud singing and not enough depravity.

So Katherine Jenkins cyber-stalker has been revealed and its not a shock to find out the single spinster from poor town has fallen off the top of the ugly tree and hit every branch on the way down.


So the hugely hot and not at all homely beauty Katherine

Hubba Hubba!

Is being stalked by someone who could double for Jabba the Hutt.

If he could see what her face was doing he would already be running...

That's her on the right... I think.  Its not quite psycho but its well on the way.  I'm sure that Katherine being really good looking, successful, not an accountant and well, lets list good looking twice.  I'm sure that has nothing to do with Lady Grinning Death wanting to say nasty things about her.


Come on love.  Accountants are loaded.  Pay for the ultra spa treatment.  Get some lots of bits shaved and give up the tantrum that you are not her.  Getting laid won't make you her but it may take your mind of it for a short while.

Surely this toy is one short stroke from child abuse?!?!

I'm a mild mannered kind of baked good.  But my tender pastry is cracking over this one.

TARDIS spunk!

 

Its as if the Master sneaked into the TARDIS and decided to chop up the Doctor and then drown him in a swimming pool sized wave of Jizz!

THINK OF THE CHILDREN!!!!  

And think of the mess!  Pass the Kleenex!

This is the worse who toy since that inflatible Dalek sex toy ( the clue is in the name - Ride On!)  It also seems to double as an S+M prison for dwarfs...  Not Kinky in the slightest!

Doctor Who Confidential Cancelled

So they've gone and cancelled Doctor Who Confidential.  As predicted fans are up in arms; the same fans who probably gave up watching it when they made longer.  Before it was short, snappy and interesting.  Now we have padding that lets us follow some poor berk as they spend most of their day standing around in between takes.  Snore...

I could be mean and say the only good ones were the ones that had the catering truck in them.  But in the early days, and from time to time since, confidential could be interesting.  Sadly it was getting less so, and less often.  Think of it as a mercy killing before it started to drool and piss the carpet.

As for the who fans, they just need something to get enraged about.  Be it the Moff vs RTD or classic vs nuwho.  If a who fan sits alone without getting upset their heads explode.  Sure a million nerds venting on the internet is messy but not in a "clean up with a mop" kind of way.  As always there is an online petition that will get ignored.  They'll no doubt be organising a mass ( probably over 10 of them!) march to downing street.  Its gone people and you didn't watch it anyway (don't kid yourself that you were waiting for the DVDs to watch it then). 

The only reason you are making a noise is you are worried it may lead to who being cancelled.  It won't.  Its not the same thing.  The BBC make a mint from who but that wasn't enough before and it isn't then.  But now who is a top rated show with world class actors and effects.  It dominates its time slot and gets great ratings.  If you don't understand the way ratings work then I be you are terrified off the overnights.  But if thats the case you're probably still worried about this new fangled technology and are out smashing looms you luddite!

Its over.  Was it good?  At times.  Will it be missed?  Yeah I'll think off it fondly.  Was it past its best and ready to retire?  Yeah. 

Doctor Who Cakes

I like a good cake.  I like Doctor Who.  Obviously this post should be about Kojak and lollypops...

There are some creative people out there on the internet.  Baking away, day after day.  Creating delights of TARDIS blue or gun metal Dalek grey.  I salute you proud bakers of the internet, this page is for you( but sadly no bud, can't have you drinking and baking) 

The first cake I'd like to share was baked by the sweetly named Michelle Sugar Art.

Ok, its throwing everything but the kitchen sink into it but its a hit; and it lights up in the dark!  Sure there won't be a lot to go around ( unless that TARDIS truly is bigger on the inside) but the cute little K9 makes up for that.

Next up we've got Exterminate by Chocolate 

Yeah its a mess.  But who cares, its got enough choccy in it to stop both the Doctors hearts at once for every incarnation simultaneously.  And the sweet (see what i did there) people at chocablog are kind enough to give you the recipe.

Of course not everyone hits the mark.

These deformed inhabitants of Skaro look more like the things that should be inside the case.   God loves a tryer but I don't.... so moving swiftly on.

No wait, there's a ruddy army of them!!!

Run away!!!!

Right, back on topic.  The nice people over at RiverFrontTimes have saved me a bit off effort by finding even more cakes, go have a look and have a little nibble.

This is so wrong.. but so very right.... slurp!

Daleks seem overly popular.  So far I've not seen a single Ice Warrior, Yeti or Sontaran cake!  Come on people, just because you've got pepperpots to model them on in your very own kitchen doesn't mean you should stick to Daleks! 

I'm laying down a challenge for all who fan cooks out there, get off your ladles and get some classic who cakes cooking!  The Flan has spoken.  Now fetch me a spork so I can have oodles off ood!

Doctor Who, driving me to drink since 1963

As every Doctor Who Fan will agree the bitter and never ending arguments are the best part of whodom.  What better way to inflame opinions even more than getting drunk.  Your opponent may only look silly at first for not agreeing Paradise Towers is an unrecognised classic but after a few of these baby's they'll be revealed as the illegitimate sons of inbred Nimon that they are.  We've been assured you can't log into Gallifrey Base until you've had at least 3 drinks ( which makes sense to us as there is no way those idiots are typing that rubbish sober)

Sonic Screwdriver:

60% Sobe Orange energy drink (or any orange flavored energy drink)

20% Stolichnaya Orange Vodka (or reg vodka)

20% 99 Bananas schnapps liqueur

Packs a punch. After half a dozen of these even Donna will seem like a viable sexual partner.  (We know what he meant when he said Mate, she's so innocent!)

Sex in the TARDIS (The Master version):

Ingredients:

1 package hot chocolate mix

1 shot Whiskey (whichever brand you prefer, add more if you wish)

cinnamon

cayenne pepper

whipped cream (not optional, you love it you filthy people you, don't make me come over there and spank you)

For more drinks likely to have you crashing your TARDIS and being exterminated by Dalek traffic wardens ( is there any other kind?) have a look here and here.

Just to be clear, I am not in any way connected with Angry Who Fan.  Tony (C0=Ordinator) and his chums are rather pasty but not tasty pastry.  Or any of these clowns:  Gallifrey Base, Outpost Skaro, Outpost Wrinkly, Doctor Who Online.  And I know Ian Levine likes eating pies but he's not me either.  So there!  And I'm not Eddie McGuigan, Steven Moffat or Steven Hill. 
 

Bake for three hours and remove before it becomes bitter.

Apologies for the delay in getting this website up and running. It's cos we got on this train and did an Ashes to Ashes.  Be assured that flan based rage is on the way.  Once we've eaten the rather tasty Gean Hunt! 

And just to be clear, I am not in any way connected with Angry Who Fan.  Tony (C0=Ordinator) and his chums are rather pasty but not tasty pastry.  Or any of these clowns:  Gallifrey Base, Outpost Skaro, Outpost Wrinkly, Doctor Who Online.  And I know Ian Levine likes eating pies but he's not me either.  So there!  And I'm not Eddie McGuigan or Steven Hill.